Chubs

A Night in the ER

Quotes from a sick 2 year old:

“Mommy that doctor is NASTY!”

“Mommy, I’m better now” as the drunk-acting creepy doctor walks in. I would have said the same thing if that guy was gonna look at me!

“Milla has the clap” (really, “Milla how to clap” meaning Amelia knows how to clap)

“Sarah, I want to clean” as she grabs a tissue and starts scrubbing the chairs in the waiting room

Madison: Why they do that (close the curtain)
Kristian: So people wouldn’t see your butt
Madison: Oh

"Sarah I take you temperature. You no feel hot"

Madison: I don’t want that (referring to the tubes, wires, and machines)
Kristian: They’re just going to check in your mouth and your ears
Madison: Ok (like “sure, that’s fine“)

Madison: Sarah what that?
Me: that’s called a wheelchair. It’s for big people, not for you
Madison: It for big mommies?
Me: Yep that’s for big mommies
Madison: I wanna clean it

Crazy, creepy, possibly drunk doctor in a Ben Stein monotone voice: Madison, do you have dogs in your stomach?
Madison (unamused and in a matter-of-fact tone): No

HATE!

In case you didn't know or you forgot, I HATE the hospital setting. The hospital, not to be confused with outpatient which I like, is a nasty depressing place where nurses let patients scream all day and swallow tests are postponed due to possible impending patient death. I feel sad and uncomfortable every time I step foot in the hospital. I don't EVER want to work in one (or in a nursing home). It doesn't interest me whatsoever and in fact, it disgusts and upsets me. Thank God I only have 3 weeks left.

Chaos

I have so much on my mind right now, I can't even sort it out into some semblance of organization, which is frustrating because that prevents me from really thinking about everything. Obviously I can't blog about it because that would be a confused mess.

Blowout

Well, ladies, the bad luck continues...

I left work around 5:30 today, tired and ready to change into pjs and relax. I was cruising along around Mount Vernon (go figure)going over my to-do list, when all of a sudden I heard a weird noise coming from my car. My heart was pounding as I fought the urge to puke. I turned down the radio to hear better and realized I had a flat tire. I pulled over, turned on the emergency flashers, crawled to the passenger side, and jumped out to check out the damage. The damn tire was totally blown out--not low, not just flat--BLOWN OUT. Surprisingly, I didn't cry. I called mom, who got dad (after a few minutes, because he was in the bathroom) and they gave me the number for AAA, since I'm an idiot and didn't have my card with me. I called AAA and they said it would be about 45 minutes, but I was top priority since I wasn't in a safe place. They said they would call when they were on their way. In the meantime, I needed to clean out my trunk. You've both seen it. It's full of JUNK. So I frantically pulled crap from my trunk and threw it in the backseat so that I'd have access to my spare. I was talking to my mom through all of this when all of a sudden, a truck pulled up and a nicely dressed man started walking toward me. He asked if I was ok and if I needed any help. I kept thinking "Oh my God, he's going to abduct me." So I politely told him that AAA was on their way. He chuckled and said "oh, I'm the manager for AAA." He showed me his card and said he was going to check to see how much longer it would be before help came. I frantically whispered to Mom, who told me not to trust him. I kept saying, "but Mom, he has on a bluetooth headset and has a laptop mounted in his car. I think he's legit...OH look, he has a bright yellow reflector jacket. He IS legit!" So the man came over and said it would be about 30 minutes. At this point it was getting dark. He told me he'd just change the tire himself. So he did. He told me not to go over 50, but I could at least make it back to Richmond.

So, I drove off on my little donut of a tire, going 45 on the interstate. I called my mom to see what I should do. She informed me that my tires are special-order only and that places probably wouldn't have them in stock. Well SHIT! She started calling all the car/tire places in Richmond and finally called me back with good news. Tire Discounters (in the new shopping center) had my tire in stock. They even said they would stay open for me if I wasn't too much longer getting there. Well, at this point I was still about 20-30 minutes away. Mom called them back and told them I could wait til morning. They told her to tell me to stop by anyway and they would check the air in my spare to make sure it would hold through the night. So I stopped there. Let me just tell you...THAT GUY WAS HOT. What is with me and cute guys and bad luck with cars? Well anyway, they checked my tire, put some air in it, and told me to come back in the morning. They said the spare should hold up all night as long as I don't do any drag racing lol. Anyway, I'm going back in the morning and then heading to Corbin. What a day!

FBA: Future Bitches of America

Consider this a warning: After this weekend, I will turn into a complete psycho-bitch.


I had a thesis committee meeting tonight and they basically ripped my thesis to shreds. They say I have a good and interesting concept, but it's more "dissertation material" than "thesis material". Apparently I'm trying to go too big. Personally, I think I can do it. It's now my mission to prove them wrong.

They gave me a TON of stuff I need to do and threw some wrenches in the gears, but I'm DETERMINED to get it done BEFORE graduation in MAY. I will have WEEKLY committee meetings with deadlines for each step in the process. Now, I ask you, why was this not happening all of last year? Oh well, it's happening now so I'll just have to deal with it.

So, with externship, 2 classes, and weekly thesis deadlines, I'm going to have very little time for fun, relaxing, and sleep. I'm going to turn into the spawn of satan and you will probably want to kill me or de-friend me. I just ask that you bare with me. It will get better once this is all over with. Then I will throw a huge party and buy you presents and maybe even dedicate my thesis to you.

No worries, ladies, this will in no way effect our weekend together. I am putting all thesising aside for the weekend. It will be my last weekend of freedom. I'm ready to live it up.

I can't wait to see you girls. It's going to be tons of fun! I miss you and love you lots!

%^&* SCHOOL

WARNING: I need to vent. Yes, Katie, you have to read this whole thing because I haven't told you all of it and won't tell you on the phone. There will be a quiz next time I talk to you.

For the first time in my life, I HATE school...I hate it! I'm not entirely sure when this hatred began. I think it's been growing since this summer, but really came to a head at the end of last semester. Let me backtrack.

Over the summer, I did speech camp and therapy every morning then had classes every afternoon. It was a lot to handle, but that wasn't even the bad part. My dreaded thesis is what started the hatred. I worked HARD to get my introduction and literature review done by July 24th. I spent countless hours in the library and countless more sitting on the living room floor with books on autism spread all around me. I submitted my 20-page rough draft on Thursday, July 23rd- one day before my deadline. I had been told that a good literature review is about 20 pages. When I submitted it, I was told that it was "a good start." I was enfuriated. After meeting with my thesis advisor, I was told not to worry about submitting my proposal to the IRB (Institutional Review Board) until I had a strong introduction and lit. review (meaning, not until after I'd edited my rough draft).

Skip to last semester. Last semester was HELL. I struggled to adjust to student teaching all day and being a student all night. I was taking two online classes, student teaching, and trying to have a life. I had family drama, stitches, and the swine flu. My thesis was the furthest thing from my mind, not that I could have worked on it without edits from my advisor. Finally, at the end of the semester, I met with her to discuss my thesis. I told her that I didn't feel like I could go any further without her feedback. This was on a Friday. She told me that she would have it back to me by the following Tuesday. I checked the following Wednesday, and it was still not in my clinic mailbox...same thing on Thursday...then again on Friday. I had a breakdown over something completely unrelated while in the halls of Wallace. She saw me and the first thing she said to me was "You don't have to do your thesis. It's not too late to back out." I told her that I wasn't crying over my thesis and she said "Well, I hope everything works out" and walked away. She didn't mention my edits at all. I stopped by her office and I emailed her about the corrections. Still, nothing. I went all through Christmas break without hearing from her. Finally, during the last part of my break, I emailed her again with no response. I decided I couldn't wait on her any longer and emailed another professor for help. That professor emailed me back with a fully edited copy of my thesis within 2 days. So, 6 months later, I finally had some feedback.

This semester: The very first day of school, I had to be on campus. I ran into my thesis advisor and she FINALLY gave me the corrections. This was three weeks ago. In the meantime, I've been driving to and from Corbin everyday. I leave my house at 6:30 in the morning and generally don't get home until 6:30 at night with the exception of a few slow days. In addition to my externship, I'm taking two classes and trying to work on my thesis. I work from the minute I get home until right before I go to bed (except on Tuesdays when I watch Biggest Loser). I desperately need a break, but the end is in sight.

Two weeks ago, I was on campus to ask about reimbursement for mileage. I was talking with Dr. MB and she brought up my thesis. She asked where I was on it and whether I had completed my IRB proposal. I explained EVERYTHING to her and she basically told me to take matters into my own hands. She also told me that I needed to call a committee meeting. My plan was to work on my edits and schedule a meeting in a few weeks. Last week, I saw another one of my committee members. She also mentioned that I needed to set up a meeting within the next couple weeks. So last week, MB emailed me basically saying that since I wasn't scheduling the meeting, she would. Rather than look like a slacker, I emailed everyone about the meeting. We got everything set up and I thought I was ready to roll. I've been working hard on finishing edits and wrapping up what I need to have done before my meeting. Today, I got an email (forwarded to the rest of the committee) from my thesis advisor saying that she is looking forward to reading my manuscript and my IRB proposal. She also sent an email (just to me) saying that I needed to have them both turned in to her by tomorrow night so that she can look over them before the meeting. I promptly emailed her back and told her that she had told me not to do the IRB yet, so it wasn't done. I explained that I could work on it though. She sent an email back, sounding a little pissed saying that she would send a correction to the committee about the IRB. She also said that we needed to communicate before sending an email to the whole committee.

What was I supposed to do? MB would have scheduled the meeting if I didn't. My advisor is just holding me back anyway. I think this meeting is a way of moving things forward. There's no need to meet with just her when I can meet with everyone and get insight from all of them. I'm aggravated and just want to do it all myself without having to worry about going through them. I'm sure she feels like I'm stepping on her toes or going over her head or whatever, but it's MY thesis and damnit, I want to graduate in May.

American Idol Update: Pants on the Ground

I don't know if you girls watch Idol, but I wanted to post this video because it's HILARIOUS!

They're playin' my song

Ok girls, I need your help! My drive to and from the hospital is about two hours round trip. I've decided that I need to make some CDs for my drive. My "Morning Mix" needs to have a lot of upbeat music to keep me awake on the drive and get me moving for the day. My "Evening Mix" needs to be a little more mellow to help me relax and unwind on my way home. I need some suggestions for songs to put on the CDs. Will you make me a playlist or at least give me several suggestions? Thanks!!!!

A Group Effort

OK, ladies, we've all agreed to do this getting healthy thing together. I'm really excited about it! I have a few questions and suggestions. My first suggestion is that we don't make this into a competition. I'm pretty sure we weren't going to do that in the first place, but I want both of you to know that I am in no way competing with you. I just want us to be a support system for each other. That leads to my first question. How are we going to do this? Are we doing the "woohoo, go you!" thing or are we going to actually hold each other accountable in some way for working out/dieting, etc...? Do we want to develop/share goals? I can use all the help I can get. I need someone to push me to get up off the couch. I don't really have a support system other than you guys because I'm on my own in Richmond. It sucks to cook for just myself so I end up eating a bunch of junk. Kristian is also trying to lose weight, so she's pretty supportive, but at my parents' house it's kind of hard to eat healthy because all we have in the house is junk food. My hope is that once I start working at the hospital, I won't have the time or the energy to eat. I'll be gone from 6:45 in the morning until around 6:00 at night. I have a feeling that being there will pretty much be a workout in itself, but I've always got the Wii Fit. I know this sounds bad, but I absolutely refuse to go to the gym on campus because it's always full of skinny bitches. I won't have time anyway.

So here's MY plan. I want to know what you girls think of it and if you think it'll work. Since it's such a waste to have to cook for just myself, I usually end up eating something completely unhealthy. Also, since I won't be getting home until around 6:00 every night, I have a feeling I'll be too worn out and lazy to cook. So my goal is to try to cook a few meals every Sunday that I can either freeze or put in the fridge. That way I'll at least have a few good meals for the week. Plus, I'll be saving money since I won't be eating out. On top of my externship, I'm taking two online classes and working on my thesis. I seriously doubt I'll have time to really work out everyday. So my thought is, I'll try to do about 30 minutes of Wii Fit a day, then about 3 days a week, I'll either spend more time on the Wii Fit or do something else like walking at Lake Reba, etc... I figure it's best to tell you guys my plan so that you can hold me accountable. I WANT you to ask me how I'm doing on it. Ask me if I've done the Wii Fit today, it'll make me feel guilty if I haven't, which is good! Keep me motivated!

So what do you girls think? Can I do it? Any suggestions? No worries, I'm not going to be obsessive about it and talk about it all the time. I'm not going to be constantly counting calories or telling you what I've eaten. I just need your support.

Now that I've shared my plan, I want to hear about yours if you have one!

New Year, Same Old Me...

Since Katie posted a blog about New Year's resolutions, I figured I should too.

I have only one resolution this year: to not make any ER trips (for myself) this year. In 2009, I had several injuries and illnesses. In January, I slipped on the ice, hit my head, and blacked out. My whole body was sore for days. In May, I had an infected wisdom tooth and could barely open my mouth, so I had my wisdom teeth taken out. No, this wasn't an injury, but it sure did hurt! In June, I had a severe sunburn that left me itching and screaming. Megan frosted my back with baking soda and water (because I asked her to), which basically ended up making things worse. In August, I hurt my wrist lifting a sandbag in the pool and ended up getting x-rays to make sure it wasn't broken. In September, I fell through a glass coffee table and cut open my hand. I ended up going to the ER and getting 3 stitches. In October, I had the swine flu and was quarantined for a week. In December, I hurt my back lifting a Christmas tree and couldn't move for a couple days. It was a rough year. I have faith that this year will be a lot healthier. If not, at least I'll be working in a hospital for a semester. They'll be able to take good care of me!

There are so many other resolutions I could make. I could say that I'm going to lose weight, get healthy, grow up a little (yes, I know I need to), get organized, etc...but I'm not ready for that. I can't make myself do something I'm not ready to do. My quirks are what make me who I am. I know that I'm fat, but I also know that if I force myself to go on a diet and exercise, I'll just gain it all back. I have to be ready to completely change my lifestyle. I know that I'm a slob. I'm disorganized, a pack rat, and generally a messy person. But have you seen my parents' house? I think it's genetic. I think organization will come in time. First, I need to be willing to get rid of stuff and I'm not ready to do that yet. I also know that I have a lot of growing up to do. I can be pretty childish, petty, manipulative, sneaky, hurtful, and just plain mean. I know when I'm doing it and I know it's wrong. It's something I've been working for several years to fix. That's not something that can be a resolution. It's something that will come with time once I'm able to move on from the past.

So yeah, just one resolution for me. I just wanted to explain the rest because I know you guys were thinking, "man she really has a lot more that she needs to work on." Just hang in there. I'll get to those things too. Now, I need to get off here and get inside my plastic bubble before I get hurt and blow the whole resolution a week into the year.

I love you guys and can't wait to see you in 34(ish) days!!!